Frequently Axed Questions
Why do you call your mom, Hannibal, “Hannibal”?
This one is easy. Besides being funny, memorable and pretty accurate, this moniker stems from a single fleeting voicemail lasting an entire duration of 00:06, that is to say, 6 whole seconds. By the way, 6 is Hannibal’s favorite number. I wonder why?
Also by the way, here is a picture of baby me and Hannibal. I love baby me!
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Help!
Quid Pro Quo Clarice
So the moniker “Hannibal” comes from from this voicemail from early Feb 2021.
“Do not come to our house in Amarillo . . . Period.” Yes, she actually said “Period”!
Even better, she used my dad Fredo’s phone to call -- possibly thinking I had blocked her (projection -- I don’t do that, they do).
Anyway, the voice reminded me of Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs.
The only other time I heard this voice is when Hannibal had knee replacement surgery and was on heavy meds. The voice in this case was closer to Linda Blair’s character in The Exorcist, though. It was like the inside demon was free to come out. My nieces thought it was funny -- well it was -- but it was also freaky. I love and miss my nieces, but they all blocked me from seeing them. That is pretty evil, if you ask me.
The Epiloguer
There is a whole backstory to this voicemail, which I well deliver up in a future Episode entitled Is This the Way to Amarillo?
P.S. Viewer notice: We in the Republic of Handbook have opted out of Daylight Savings Time. We would probably just end up wasting that “extra” hour anyway, so we changed the time zone on our miscellaneous and assorted devices to the next time zone over.
The actual clocks needed no adjustment.